How does pain always make me think about being on Survivor?

Every person that I know is aware of the fact that I want to be on Survivor. This is not a passing whim. I REALLY want to be on Survivor. I have sent in tapes. I have gone to open casting calls. I cannot even get a call back. I don't think that I'm enough of a lunatic to be on reality television. That doesn't mean I am ever going to stop trying. Never. I want to go to Tribal Council. I want to vote people off the island. I want to form alliances, backstab. Outwit. Outlast. Outplay. You get the point.

Being on Survivor crosses my mind a lot, but it always moves up to the forefront when I am in pain. I like to tell myself if I can't get through whatever hardship I'm enduring, then how am I going to get through 39 days of constant discomfort.(and yes I said 39 days because I plan on being there the entire time, you may not believe it but when they finally make the smart decision to cast me onto the show, I will win.) This weekend, I went skiing. I've skied for years but it has been years since I've skied. I spent the morning doing pretty well but the fear of losing control as I sped down the mountain kept creeping into my brain.

After lunch we decided to go to the top of the mountain. It was a gorgeous run down but my legs started to bother me. They went quickly from uncomfortable to straight up cramping. Both legs. It is very possibly the most painful thing that I have experienced. There were points I thought that I might throw up from the pain but I kept going. Pain or not, there wasn't any other way down the mountain. What did I tell myself to get me down the mountain: It's practice for Survivor.